This New Year, Promise to Take Care of YOU
‘Self-care is not selfish. It is critical. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.’
How often have we seen our mothers and grandmothers sacrifice ‘self-care’ for the sake of their family? The unanimous answer would be ‘always’. As women, many of us have been raised with the idea that it is the sole responsibility of the woman in a household to ‘take care’ of everyone else. And we women, on our part, don’t consider this a sacrifice. We prefer to call it ‘love’. But what we don’t realise is that if we keep neglecting our physical and mental health in the name of love, there will come a time when we would be left with neither the strength nor spirit to take care of our bodies, let alone our families and children. Then, we will become a ‘liability’ to the very people for whom we had neglected ourselves for so long.
This is not to say we should become self-centred and shun our responsibilities. The wisdom is in knowing that ‘self-care’ is not selfish but a necessary survival tool. Only when you are physically fit, mentally happy and emotionally stable can you do justice to the many hats you as a woman wear every day.
So, this New Year, make yourself a promise: to prioritise self-care. No matter how busy your day is, promise to take out time to invest in your growth and development, even if it is for 10 minutes. I am sure that is practical. Taking out 10 minutes out of 1,440 minutes in a day for yourself isn’t rocket science. It is good time management.
I list below 12 simple activities for the year ahead. Choose one each month and make it your mantra for that month. Sometimes, trying out too many things at once may backfire and not give you the desired result. But if you break down your goals into smaller tasks and take monthly stock of your progress, it becomes easier to see where you stand and how far you have come.
Make exercise your best friend
Exercise will ALWAYS be a top priority for me. I have been practising yoga for almost eight years now. And I cannot imagine my day without some form of exercise. Every morning, after waking up, I take out an hour for myself. I either do yoga, lift weights or do indoor rowing. Usually, I alternate between the three. And believe me, over the years, I have felt stronger. Regular exercise not only helps keep those extra kilos at bay, but it also gives you confidence in your body. You learn to be patient with your progress and at the same time, you keep pushing yourself to do better. Remember, only when you are in good physical health can you take care of everyone else around you. So, make exercise a part of your daily routine and don’t compromise on it, no matter what. Walk, dance, skip, hop… just get that body moving.
Meditate
I will not go deep into the benefits of meditation, because it’s all out there on the internet. Every morning, right after my exercise/yoga session, I sit down to meditate for 10–15 minutes. I begin with the Om chanting and then listen to some nice, calming music on my phone. Many people use meditation apps. I use Insight Timer, which was recommended by a friend. This app has a vast collection of beautiful music and is free to use. To me, meditation opens the doors to a quiet, peaceful world where it’s only me. I shut out the external chaos and focus on my breathing. This is the beauty of meditation. It slows you down and relaxes your mind and body. I also meditate for five minutes during bedtime, just to unwind from the busyness of the day. If you haven’t meditated yet, now’s a good time to start. You may not see the benefits immediately, but give yourself time, and you will be glad you did.
Be grateful
Gratitude is a virtue we all need to practise a bit more. Each one of us has SO many things to be thankful for. The past two years especially have shown many of us how fortunate we are to be in good health. Some of us have probably lost our dear ones to the pandemic; some may have lost health; some may have lost jobs. But we can still be thankful for the things that we have not lost yet. Why, we can be thankful for something as simple as hope — hope in the new year for better things to come. The fact that you are reading this is something you can be thankful for — it means you are alive and you can read and write and make sense of things. No matter who we are, where we are or what we do, there’s ALWAYS something to be thankful for. A good way to practise gratitude is to begin and end your day with it. When I open my eyes in the morning, the first thing I do is sit up and be grateful for having another day to live, another day to spend with the people I love. And when I go to bed at night, I am grateful for another day that kept me safe and healthy. Incorporate thanksgiving into your daily life, and you will see how blessed you are.
Spend time with nature
Nature is the best teacher there can be. It’s beautiful and abundant and is ready to teach us how to live life with grace, beauty and patience. We just need to be willing to see and accept. I have had many insightful moments while simply taking a walk outdoors, looking at the trees and the sky. During these moments, I feel at peace, knowing that we are part of nature and that if we take care of her, she will take care of us. So, try and spend some time with nature every day. Go for a walk outdoors or simply sit in a park. And while you are at it, keep your phone (and all other distractions) aside. Be in the moment. Appreciate the flowers around you. Listen to the sound of the birds, the wind or the waves. See how the butterflies and bees suck nectar and keep nature in balance. Believe me, you will see the world around you in a new perspective, which will guide your relationship with family and friends.
Read more
A book not only gives you knowledge but it can also be therapeutic. Imagine making yourself a nice cuppa and curling up by the window with a book. Like the sound of such me-time? Well, what’s stopping you then? Reading was my favourite past-time as a kid, but sadly, as I started working and had to take on more responsibilities, both personal and professional, I lost touch with it. Many of you might relate to me. I soon realised that if I want to make time for myself, no one else can come do it for me. Now, I have started reading more again. I don’t intend to finish about 20 books in a year, because I know that’s not practical for me. But I can dedicate at least half an hour every day to read a book. The idea is not to get intimidated by long-term goals but to take baby steps and keep going.
Travel as much as you can
Travel, like exercise, is another wonderful gift you can give yourself. Travelling not only offers you a break from the monotony of life but is a wonderful learning opportunity. You can learn about new cultures, history, civilisations etc. I am an avid traveller myself, and every experience has been unique. Before I got married, I would travel with friends. And after marriage, I have been travelling the world with my husband. Some trips have been smooth, and some others have been scary adventures. But today, I look back at all of them with a smile on my face. When you travel, you create a lifetime of precious memories, and you always return home richer in knowledge.
Pursue a hobby
Every one of us would have something that we love to do. It could be art and craft, cooking, music, reading, writing etc. Whatever it is you love doing, take out some time for it every day, even if it’s just 10 minutes. Office work and house chores are never ending; once you finish a task, something else will come up. But it’s important that you develop your creative potential. It will not only help you to de-stress but will also keep your brain sharp and your mind alert. This has long-term benefits too. Keeping your mind active has been found to reduce the risk of developing cognitive diseases in the old age, like Dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Appreciate/compliment people
This can be a hard one, but it’s a habit worth adopting. Every week, try and say ‘Thank You’ to any person who has touched your life. It could be your parents, partner, friend, teacher, your domestic help, your chowkidar etc. Every day, you talk to people who have helped you in some way or another. In fact, it could even be your pet who makes you happy. Just take out a minute or two to approach that person (or dog or cat or whatever pet you might have) and appreciate the work they do to make your life a little easier. If you cannot meet her in person, send a text or an email or just call her up. The idea is, again, to practise gratitude. But this is taking it a step forward. It’s understanding that people long to be appreciated for their efforts. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s human nature. Sometimes, a simple compliment can change a life.
Get together with friends
Friends can turn even the grimmest scenario into something hilarious. That’s why they are call friends. Thinking of going for lunch with your bestie? Dial her number and book a restaurant . Want to go shopping with your girl friends? Just put on your sneakers and get going. Have been wanting to catch up over coffee? Just head to a cosy café and chill. The point is, if you want to spend time with your friends, just do it. I know that even an entire day spent with friends can never be enough, but hey, something is better than nothing, right? Again, it may not be possible for some of us to step out of home at all — say someone has a toddler or ageing relatives to look after. In such a scenario, you can invite your friend(s) over to your home. It does not matter where you meet. All that matters is you have someone to listen and talk to.
Organise a game night with family
In the busy schedule of our daily lives, many of us have forgotten the beautiful era of the 90s, when people in a room would actually sit and talk. Today, the internet has replaced conversations. Many of us are glued to our phones even when we are in a social setting. I have seen families go to restaurants and constantly updating their status on social media. When was the last time you sat together with your parents or grandparents to talk to them? Invest time in relationships while you still have the time. Life, after all, comes with no guarantees. A good ritual would be to organise a weekly game night with your immediate family, say every weekend. There are tons of board games available. Some even require strategy, like Monopoly. Fix a day and time and let everyone know, so that people do not have excuses to not join in. The idea, really, is not to win a game, but to have fun with your parents/siblings/spouse like the good old days. This way, no matter how stressful or hectic your week is, you know you would have something to look forward to every week. And if you do win the game, well, that’s a bonus!
My husband and I have started a ritual of game nights every Saturday. Our favourite is Banangrams, a word game similar to Scrabble minus the board.
Learn a new language
It’s always fun to learn something new, isn’t it? So why not learn a global language in the new year? It may be easier said than done, but if you are patient, determined and consistent, you will at least be able to learn the basic vocabulary by the end of 2022. And you have so many options to choose from — French, German, Italian, Spanish, Korean…. The fun part aside, new language skills also come in handy when you apply for a job as many organisations nowadays prefer multi-lingual employees. You can either join a language school or download a language app. Memrise and Duolingo are two really good ones.
Stop being judgemental
Let’s all agree on this: As humans, we tend to judge others too quickly. I am guilty of this vice myself. How often have we judged others for not showing up, for being rude, or for behaving the way they did? True, they might be in the wrong, but who are we to judge? A person’s words, thoughts and actions are her own. You are not responsible for them. But you have a responsibility to be kind. Do not make assumptions about another’s upbringing, background, values or education. You never know what storm she might have been through. Every one of us carries burdens and secrets we may not be proud of. The trick is to be kind, anyway. No matter what someone does, your conscience should be clean, because that is what matters.
If you can adopt these 12 habits/practices at the start of the new year, by the end of 2022, you would have achieved 12 milestones in your personal growth and development. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful New Year gift to yourself?
I would love to hear your thoughts on how you practise all or any of these tips, and how much of this self-development goal you were able to reach by the end of the year. You can reach me at moushumi1587@gmail.com.
